Diary #82 The Barrier of Expectation

A couple of months ago I noticed an interesting relationship between mindfulness and freestyle rap: they both cultivate a state of presence, amplified awareness and connection.

As a beginner, I started deconstructing freestyle into its constituents, such as, rhythm, rhyme, tonality and flow, and blending them with my meditative practice which has been amazing.  The exercises help me be more articulate and at ease with ‘being on the spot’.


Over time though, the novelty has subsided and I see how difficult it is to become proficient. My association with the experience has changed from "What a great journey this is," to "How great it would be to get there".  An expectation has been born.


And now, my expectation brings a stale flavour to the experience, making it less enjoyable.  How is it that whilst I continue to improve, my expectation to do so sabotages it?


This happens in many situations, don’t you think?


How can I keep my expectation productive: solid enough to keep going, light enough to stay inspired?



Author: JD

Image by Ronile from Pixabay 


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Comments: 1
  • #1

    David Love (Monday, 10 May 2021 04:50)

    Great question.

    I find with most things eg calisthenics the progress is incremental and sometimes very hard to really see until it compounds after weeks or months.

    For example it has taken me months to be able to do a frogstand with ease. This was annoying my ego but I take a long-term perspective. I know a habit takes 66 days on average to build and even if I don't see significant change in that time, because my habits are lifestyle changes (ie permanent changes) I feel whatever action I commit to doing daily must eventually compound.

    I savour every piece of progress and use each success to motivate me more. Hitting goals along the way is so satisfying!

    Even greater than this is our habits become our characters so part of me loves the pain of the struggle and I love witnessing the personal transformation.

    Consistency over time is an irresistible force.